Miss Whitney

This is Miss Whitney Joan.

When I found out I was pregnant for the second time, I was surprised and excited. As the pregnancy went on I felt really good. Only a few headaches and my hypoglycemic went away. At 28 weeks I was able to have a 4D ultrasound. I was so excited to see 'pictures' of my little girl. The technician checked everything over and over and it looked good. I was so excited to have this healthy little girl in me. At 30 weeks, I had another appointment. This little girl was still very little, but everything looked great. This is how every appointment continued to go. I continued to keep weekly appointments and do stress test bi-weekly. She was small and not growing but looked healthy. At 37 weeks I went in for another appointment. The doctor said everything still looked good, but he wanted to deliver the baby the next day. I was excited and ready to hold my little girl, not knowing how my life would change forever.

The next morning, I got ready, cleaned the house, and packed Brayden's bags to go to Grandma's. When I sat down to rest, I started to cry. I finally let myself feel how scared I was. Patrick gave me a blessing before we left. I felt peace and confidence as we walked out the door. One phrase still echos in my mind "Trust the doctors to do what they need to." Once we got to the hospital everything went great. (except I pasted out because I was fasting and my blood sugar crashed... the doctors gave me sugar in my IV.... wow I felt great!) Finally Whitney was born by c-section. The doctor held her up for me to see and said I don't think we hit 5 lbs. The nurses took her back to clean her off and check her out. I told Patrick to go be with her. It felt like hours, but minutes later they both came back in. Patrick holding Whitney.

Once back in my room, I held my angel for the first time. 4 lbs 13 oz 16 1/4 inches long. She was so little. I was scared to hold her and unwrap her. Our pediatrician came in shortly later to look over her. He said he wanted to do a blood test to look for turner syndrome. I had no idea what it was, I was just thinking ohh that is why she is so tiny. They also wanted to observe her in the NICU for a few hours. About 30 minutes later they wheeled her away. I wasn't able to see her because I was still under the spinal block and couldn't move my legs. Patrick spent most the time with her. The nurses where very surprised with how strong she was. She never need oxygen. She needed help keeping her body temperature but was healthy and strong. The doctor released her from the NICU only 8 hours after being in their special care.

4 days later all 3 of us back up to head home. I asked the doctor lots of questions. I had never before been responsible for such a little person. We knew Whitney would be small, but I was convinced she would be able to fit into newborn clothes. I was wrong she need preemies. 3 days after being home I received the phone call that has changed everything I once believed in. "Is this Whitney's mother? Yes we received the test results back. Whitney has a genetic disorder. I don't know anything about it but it is called Pentasomy X." I can't remember anything else the doctor said. I remember sitting in Patrick lap and crying. We had no idea what this 'disorder' was and how it was going to affect our lives. We did a little research on line and found little information. The next month we were able to meet with a genetic specialist. We learned Whitney is number 27 world wide with Pentasomy. We also learned doctors know very little of the disorder. Our lives then became a worldwide of specialist and therapist.

When Whitney turned 6 months old, I was watching her sleeping and I realized I had not bonded with my daughter yet. I was always going to an appointment. I canceled all my appointments for the next month and just spent time getting to know my new life. Two kids, one with 'special needs.' I remember one day, I had really been having a bad day, and I sat down and realized I wasn't ready for this life. This life of 'special needs'. The life of doctors, therapist, appointments, special equipment, and medical bills. I never dreamed I have a special child. Why would Heavenly Father give me this child with special needs. This was not in my life plan. For many months, I cried at least once a day. (there are still some days I cry) I never understood why parents would adopt and choose to have children with special needs.......until now.

Many doctor appointments and months later, I once again was watching Whitney lay on the floor while she was looking down and I started to cry. Why did Heavenly Father BLESS me with the privileged of having this SPECIAL child in my care? Whitney is so special. The spirit in her little body will brighten any room. I can't even express they joy she bring to life. It is Whitney who reminds me of the perfect love, peace, and hope that Heavenly Father and Jesus have to offer each one of us.
Because of the Pentasomy, Whitney is developmentally behind and has been working with vision, occupational, speech, and physical therapist to help her. Every little goal she accomplishes is so incredible. I feel like I missed out of all the little things Brayden did. The first time Whitney rolled from her stomach to her side, I think I called everyone in the family to tell them of her accomplishments.

Some days I get discouraged because I feel like I don't have the knowledge to teach her or that I don't work with her enough. Other days, I am overcome with pride for my little girl and everything she can do.

A few weeks ago, I was talking to my mom about the pre-existence and people with disabilities. I am not a prophet but I believe that Whitney was so incredibly valiant and strong in the pre-existence that she has already proven her worthiness to Heavenly Father. I believe that his disorder is almost a protection for her against the evilness of this world.

Whitney is very small... And probably always will be. I forget how old she really is. The past few weeks, Whitney has reminded me that she is almost two.

She can be very mischievous and stubborn. I never know what she is going to get into next, but I always know she will have a smile on her face. Even in the middle of the night when I sneak into her room, if she sees me she will have a big smile on her face and she waves hi. The other day Patrick said "No matter how bad your day is, why you pick her up everything is better. You can't help but smile!"
Everywhere we go, someone stops us to say hi to Whitney. I get annoyed most the time but everyone has to ask how old she is because she is so tiny. I think it is the spirit of pure joy that pulls people towards her.

When Whitney was born, my life changed forever. I am so grateful my life has been blessed with my angel Whitney.