Quiet Moments when I have time to think.

Our lives have been pretty crazy this past few months and I haven't sat down to express my love and gratitude to Heavenly Father.

We have been so blessed. Heavenly Father has not only been with us, but he has carried us. Looking back, I see how he prepared for us to handle the struggles. Brayden's first seizure was at a family reunion. Bad timing right? But looking back I realize how blessed we were. I was not alone with the kids but in an environment surrounded by people who have experienced these things. I was never alone when Brayden had seizures... there were so many times I would pick him up and he was weightless to me... someone was holding him. How blessed we are to have family on this side and the other side to help and support us. This past weekend, Whitney was sick and her temp spiked quickly and she had a seizure. I was scary to witness but I knew exactly what to do and how to handle it. We took her to the ER and left Brayden with neighbors. As we were getting ready to leave, I was grateful for the wonderful neighbors we have I knew any of them would take Brayden and do anything to help.

I really struggled with Brayden's seizures.. they just broke me. I've learned how to deal with them. Recently when he has had a seizure, I have felt nothing but gratitude for Heavenly Father's love.

Whitney has been a surprise to us from day one. Learning of her genetic disorder was challenging. I spent many months crying and wondering how we were going to deal with this. Doctors and therapist appointments became a way of our lives. I was thrown into this life that I didn't want. Sadly, I missed out on a lot of bonding time with my angel. One day I was watching Whitney and I realized how blessed our home has been since her sweet spirit has come. I remember countless nights praying why does she have this.. now my prayers are of thankfulness of her sweet spirit. I still hate all the doctors, specialist, and therapist appointments, but love spending every second with her.

Brayden is growing up so fast. Just days (okay, years) ago I held him in my arms for the first time. It was just me and him during the day and we became buddies. Terrible two hit earlier and harder than planned. He got an attitude and learned the word no. He stopped sleeping through the night and was mean. Then the seizures started. I cried many night and wondered where my little boy went. It has been a very very slow process, but he is becoming better and better. It has been over 6 weeks since his last seizure and every seizure free day is a miracle in our home. The past few weeks Brayden has started to crawl in bed with me in the morning after Patrick leaves. He talks to me about 'Dadddee' (Daddy) 'Dars' (Cars) 'cool buz' (school bus) 'momma' (Mommy) 'et-nee' (Whitney). I love this time cuddling together.

Whitney is doing incredible. She is getting so fast crawling and rolling. I guess she is trying to keep up with Brayden. She is getting quit the personality. She loves to explore things and tease Brayden. She definitely is getting a Bailey personality... She loves time to herself. While Brayden is at school, I see a whole new side of Whitney. She has become a jabber mouth and says 'momma'. It melts my heart. She is learning to walk with her walker and thinks it is pretty funny.. but she goes faster crawling. My favorite time is going to get her in the morning. She laughs and smiles when we open the door and does a little dance for us.

I love these kids but some days they are my trial..... I am so thankful for the quiet moments when I am able to remember their sweet wonderful moments.